Motivations

It's weird but somehow I knew I would be an adoptive parent since I was a child. I can't explain but there is an episode of One Day at a Time where Valerie Bertinelli's character Barbara is faced with infertility and that episode stayed with me. I looked it up and the final season aired in 1983 so I was 11 years old.

I wasn't faced with the reality until I was 27 and I underwent a myomectomy for uterine fibroids. I had multiple fibroids throughout my uterus and while the surgeon reconstructed my uterus he told me that my fallopian tubes were blocked and I would be left with lots of scar tissue as well as the possibility of the same problem in the future. He consoled me that I could have children with a surrogate. What I was left with was a lot of uncertainly. I grieved for a time but since I wasn't in a relationship there was no need to pursue having a baby.

When I met John in 2006, I worried about telling him that I could probably not have children. There was no need to worry because John wasn't sure he wanted children anyway. Our first year of marriage was a whirlwind with graduating from nursing school, learning how to be a med/surg nurse, buying a house, the illnesses and deaths of both of my grandfather's, as well as being newlyweds. The following year I changed jobs and my focus was on learning how to be a surgical nurse. Then, summer of 2009, I started feeling that I needed my own family. I was very close with my niece Allyson when she was little but since moving to Humboldt for nursing school I only got to see her a few times a year.

When I worked at Sempervirens, SV, in 2006-07, I worked with a nurse who had adopted a little girl from China. It was a "wow" moment for me and the possibility of adoption seemed real. The SV nurse would show me the pictures he would get from China while they were waiting for their travel letter. At this time in 2006, Adoptions from China were at a peak and it took less than 24 months to adopt a non-special needs child. Today, it takes 4 to 5 years to adopt a non-special needs child from China. Currently, special needs children are popular because the adoption times are significantly shorter and what China considers special needs are fairly minor.

I had heard of Adoption Horizons and sent them an e-mail requesting some information. I told John about it and let him kind of stew. I would bring it up from time to time to gauge his thoughts. Sometimes he would tell me that it would be nice to have someone to take care of and other times he would tell me that he doesn't want children. This was a big challenge. Trying to convince John to get on board and convey the depth of my feelings without forcing it on him. After some discussions we went to the Meet the Agency night and got more information on adoption. Last spring we signed up.

So then begins our journey with Adoption Horizons and how we ended up choosing China.